Friday, September 3, 2010

2 more reasons to worry bout the sanity of my family.. a kilt, a sword, some hunters and a duck??!!

Reason the 1st.
One brother, one kilt: A thank you letter.

The Kilt......

Dear older brother,

Thank you for the visit home this weekend, straight off the plane from your holiday to Edinburgh in Scotland!! Thank you for the enthusiasm with which you showed off your lovely new kilt to us all, in your excitement over your purchase. Also, for explaining to us the advantages of a kilt over trousers when, as you so eloquently put it
ya havta go for a dump
I'm sure it is an awful lot easier and time-saving when all you have to do is pull your kilt up...
The enthusiasm with which you described your trip- the theft of your friends trousers by an-apparently-not-very-ex-criminal, the failure to get the ride from your American interest because of her annoying friend, the, admittedly disturbing, excitement with which you described your trip to the armoury and the hat store, was refreshing to hear and we're all very happy that you enjoyed your trip and that you chose to come home and visit.
On saying that, no, thank you but I'm not interested in whether you are wearing your kilt the 'proper Scottish way' or not, and your random act of flashing your bare arse at me every so often is achieving your intended goal of making me more than a little unwell. Please stop, I'm glad you're comfortable with your body but I don't want to see it.

Also, good call on the whole, not buying a proper sword from the armoury decision. You're right, you most likely would not have gotten through customs or security.

Yours, etc,
Twinkie...

Reason the 2nd

one father, one duck, one big frickin shock for a hunter....
 
Prologue
At the bottom of our land there is a game sanctuary.... I never know why it's called a sanctuary when the purpose of it is to rear birds to shoot them..hardly a place I'd describe as a sanctuary... now, don't worry, we don't own it, it's on the neighbouring land like, but they gotta use our lane to reach it... Anyway, there are 2 lakes in this sanctuary, and when the hunters shoot, the ducks scatter from one and fly to the other and the hunters get them while they're in flight...I don't like it either.. My Da loves to laugh about the hunters and what a ridiculously easy set-up it is to just take pot shots at the ducks as they all fly the same direction...so...
The Practical Joke...
I came downstairs on Wednesday to find my Dad and his twin brother who was over visiting sniggering away at something. When I came in, my Da looked up with a smirk and said,

Did you hear the shooting?

I did...

Well, go outside the front gate, there's a silver car parked there belonging to one of the hunters, look inside at the drivers side....

Then he and the twin dissolved back into giggles.
So I went outside, and I looked in the window of the car, and there, lying on the dashboard, with its head poking through the steering wheel so it was hanging down was a dead duck. Best of all was the 'I surrender' sign that had been propped up on its back....
Apparently one duck managed to make it up the lane before it died, no doubt it almost killed the hunter with shock too when he saw it......

....and people wonder why I'm weird....??!!!

4 comments:

  1. That is kind of funny, though.

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  2. haha yeh, the best thing was the way that my da and his twin were reacting, they were just like kids laughing over a practical joke, they were so proud of themselves!!!!

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